telling_children

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telling_children [2020/11/11 15:40]
127.0.0.1 external edit 		telling_children [2020/12/01 21:03] (current)
charles
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 In terms of process, all this implies encouraging the child - of whatever age - to tell stories about the deceased. You can elicit stories easily from most children by asking them such questions as When did she make you laugh? What did you enjoy doing with her? Tell me the best story about her life she ever told you, When do you think she looked her best?  What did she most enjoy doing?  Such story-excavations can have a marked bearing on the child’s ability to mourn well. It need not be a solemn or sobering occasion (or set of occasions): rather the reverse; hopefully it will be enjoyable and life affirming. In terms of process, all this implies encouraging the child - of whatever age - to tell stories about the deceased. You can elicit stories easily from most children by asking them such questions as When did she make you laugh? What did you enjoy doing with her? Tell me the best story about her life she ever told you, When do you think she looked her best?  What did she most enjoy doing?  Such story-excavations can have a marked bearing on the child’s ability to mourn well. It need not be a solemn or sobering occasion (or set of occasions): rather the reverse; hopefully it will be enjoyable and life affirming.
  
-What if the child asks, as many do, quasi-religious questions, such as “Will I ever see her again?” “Where is she now?” “Will she see Grandpa again?”.  You will, no doubt, have your own answers to such queries. All we would ask is that you answer them with your integrity. It probably is not helpful, at least for younger children, to hedge your bets: “Some people thi nk this and others think that.” Better to tell them what you think: sooner or later they will think these things out for themselves and reach answers that have integrity for them.+What if the child asks, as many do, quasi-religious questions, such as “Will I ever see her again?” “Where is she now?” “Will she see Grandpa again?”.  You will, no doubt, have your own answers to such queries. All we would ask is that you answer them with your integrity. It probably is not helpful, at least for younger children, to hedge your bets: “Some people think this and others think that.” Better to tell them what you think: sooner or later they will think these things out for themselves and reach answers that have integrity for them.