Birthdays and other significant dates

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Birthdays and other significant dates are hard as they often spark memories and act as a reminder of one's loss. Some people choose to commemorate the date and there are a number of ways that people choose. It could be that this is the date that one makes a special trip to the grave, or to a place that is significant for the deceased and the person that is mourning. My mother has the names of her parents and her husband written in a book in the crematorium and on their birthdays goes to visit and look at the book and remember them. It is a good idea to remind yourself of a significant date so that it does not surprise you, one lady I talked to told me that she was devastated on the fifth anniversary of her mother's death that she was going about her business and suddenly remembered - she felt dreadful that she had forgotten. It may be that you are a person who never has really put a lot of energy into birthdays or 'special days' and for you there are no significant dates - this is absolutely fine too. What is important is that whatever you decide to do, or not do you look after yourself and give yourself enough space to mourn, be sad or celebrate.