Dealing with your own grief

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There are no set ways to deal with your own grief - it is your grief, a unique experience and one that has it's own power and characteristics. I am a firm believer in thinking that we are the best people to advise ourselves - the answer is within. Other people may tell you what has helped them and these ideas can be useful, but it is more important to be tuned into your own soul, your own experience and to learn to trust that.

My experience of grief is that there were times I wanted to cry, times I wanted to be alone, times I wanted the whole thing to be 'put on the back burner' while I tried to do something normal, times I wanted to be with friends, times I wanted to laugh, times I wanted to smell the clothes of the deceased, times I wanted to clear out things belonging to them and times I wanted to cling to things.

It is important that you can hear these calls and naturally respond to them.

And while you are looking after your emotions and soul, do remember your body… to eat well, sleep and rest and honour your own life in the midst of this confusing time.

It can be difficult if your grieving pattern is different to that of a partner or someone close. If you are wanting to cling to someone's belongings while a partner is trying to clear things out and make a new start - both of you could think the other one heartless or unnecessarily emotional. If this is the case try not to judge, try and be gentle with yourself and others and let grief unwrap itself slowly so that you may receive healing. Trite phrases like 'time heals' do hold elements of truth so be encouraged by others trying to help you but also remember that this is your journey and you need to take it at the pace and in the way that works for you.